Before Frisky February comes to an end, we need to address how our expectations of a woman’s sexuality differs from our expectations of a man’s.

We need to reach a space where sexuality and shame aren’t connected. Achieving that starts with teaching boys and girls that sex is a natural, normal component of life. Having open conversations and staying away from unwarranted judgement are two ways to actively contribute to the change.

Double standards on the basis of sex begin to affect girls at an early age, and the effects can linger for years. A 2016 Penn State University study found that teenage girls surveyed experienced a 45 percent decrease in popularity when they had sex for the first time, while boys had an 88 percent increase in popularity for doing the same.

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“Shaming women is unfortunately reinforced and is really bad for women’s self-esteem,” James Simon, gynecologist and president of the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health, said. “It has long lasting consequences. In my practice as a sexual medicine expert, I see women of all ages who have never actually healed, in a psychological way, from episodes of shaming, or assault or trauma. And they remain inhibited from enjoying sex or having sexual pleasure their entire lives because of these things.”

The disapproval of openly sexual women is a product of reinforced misogynistic ideals that we’ve witnessed throughout history. Women are constantly told to be docile and modest, while men are praised for being bold and assertive. It’s a narrative that has long affected the way women are treated in all types of social spaces.

Gender roles and societal expectations have great influence on how men and women express their sexualities. From a biological standpoint, it’s reasonable for men’s sexuality to be more visibly pronounced.

Simon explained that testosterone — a primary sex hormone — is roughly 10 times more present in adult men than in women. This may cause sexual expression in men to be more apparent.

But, that doesn’t account for how much sex either gender has. And yet, women are the ones who are bashed for their sexual behavior.

We need to end the harmful cycle of sexuality shaming, and according to Simon, this starts with parents.

“The way we socialize young boys and young girls needs to change. It can only change if parents are educated on the subject, which they’re typically not. We need to have some parental education around the psychosexual socialization of our young adults before they’re off to college because there’s not enough guidance when they’re there.”

Take Frisky February as an opportunity to empower women for their sexuality — don’t tear them down. Just talk about sex.

Jennifer Bancamper is a sophomore English and textual studies major. Her column appears bi-weekly. She can be reached at jbancamp@syr.edu.

Published on February 24, 2019 at 11:25 pm