When Sabrina Cammock died, some runners were in Syracuse training, others at home with their families and even more competing in Boston.

Jabari Butler, who was in Boston, walked to the bleachers to see head coach Chris Fox and assistant coach Frank Rizzo and saw a tear in Rizzo’s eye.

Butler was in denial until he went on social media later that night. Then it hit him. It hit Freddie Crittenden sitting in his apartment, so he left earlier than planned to see his parents. It hit Donald Pollitt when SU sent the campus-wide email.

“I couldn’t believe it,” Pollitt said. “I just saw her yesterday. We just did tempo. She was complaining about how much she hates tempo.”

It has been 19 days since Cammock, a sprinter on the track and field team, died unexpectedly in a New York City hotel room. The cause of her death has yet to be determined.

Assistant coach Dave Hegland said the Orange’s healing has begun, as each day helps each runner feel a little better, but it is far from over. The first workout, the first Monday back from spring break, the first time SU will compete, each milestone presents a new challenge from old memories.

“There’s no good way to do this,” Hegland said. “There’s no handbook for handling tragedy on the team. All the coaching manuals and leadership manuals fail you at a time like this. There’s no good way to do it, but a good place to start is supporting each other.”

Pollitt can’t pick out a certain instance in practice that he draws comfort from, but he does find support from his teammates and in thinking of Cammock. On the last rep, or during tempo, or if he feels like he can’t get through the workout, he thinks of her, and Butler and Crittenden do the same.

The first Monday back from spring break, the first day of regular practice with the whole team reunited, was “one of the hardest days,” Hegland said. He held a meeting with his team after practice and has held many more individual discussions since returning to school.

The Syracuse track and field team still does the same drills it did with Cammock. It brings back memories for her teammates and some parts of Manley Field House cause memory triggers for runners, Hegland said.

“But we’re trying to have the couple hours down at Manley be a bit of a release,” Hegland said. “We try to give them license to train and have fun and laugh a little bit. Enjoy doing what you’re doing and nobody’s got to feel guilty about being happy.”

Outdoor track and field season starts on April 3. There are obstacles to overcome that prevent athletes from hanging on to that moment.

“When it gets hard we need to think of Cammock,” Pollitt said. “And there will be times it will get hard, but if we do think of her, we should be able to get through it no matter.”

Pollitt thinks of her while training for running, but it’s not just the running or the school-record 4×100 people will remember about Cammock.

Rebecca Robinson, a friend who was at Cammock’s apartment every night, moves forward with the memory of Cammock’s selflessness and character.

Cammock as a person, a never-ending spout of positivity and genuine friendship, lives on through her friends, Robinson said.

The way she pushed people to be their best selves — telling Harrison she knew she could win ACCs or telling Crittenden she never worried about him when he slumped because she always believed in him — is what her teammates will remember as they move forward, they said.

When Butler first walked onto the team, Cammock was the first one to welcome him. She immediately teased him about how New Yorkers, like herself, are better than people from New Jersey, like him.

“We try to use (her death) as motivation,” Butler said. “Cammock was always encouraging. In her death we should continue to do that and work as hard as we would if she were still here.”

And even though it spurs each of them forward, there are things they’ll miss too.

Robinson always relied on Cammock to set the pace while running in practice. If Robinson wasn’t next to her, she was either running too slow or too fast, at which point Cammock would tell her to ease up.

“It’s the little things like that I miss,” she said.

To miss things is OK, Hegland said.

“I don’t think it’s something you move past or you get over. It’s not that way,” he said. “The first time we compete will be tough.

“There are all kinds of hurdles still to come.”

Published on March 26, 2015 at 12:16 am

Contact Sam: sjfortie@syr.edu | @Sam4TR