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Humor Column

Make this winter break unforgettable with help from our humor columnist

Flynn Ledoux | Contributing Illustrator

You don’t have to be bored this winter break. Instead, pitch meaningless fights with your family or unleash your inner Grinch slithering around the house.

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If you’re like me, then you probably spend the entirety of winter break bored out of your mind. It’s a lot of sitting around, sleeping and catching up on all the shows you didn’t have time to watch while you were busy with school.

However, with a little bit of creativity, you don’t have to spend all of the break staring at your ceiling. Here are a few boredom busters to make your winter break a little more entertaining.

1. Start a meaningless fight with one of your siblings

This is one of my favorite things to do when I’m bored and feeling a little chaotic. As anyone who has a sibling knows, it’s not very hard to start an argument. My personal favorite argument starters include: “I bet I’m better at math than you” (I’m not), “Your breath smells like garbage,” and, last but not least, “You should really pop that pimple.” Arguing can be a great boredom buster and, if you’re persistent enough, one fight can entertain you for days on end.



2. Tell your parents you forgot the Netflix password

For the people who like to watch the world burn, here’s another suggestion. As the only one who knows the Netflix password in my household, I sometimes like to abuse my power. If you lie and tell your parents you forgot the password, you’ll create hours of countless fun while you watch your parents deliberate over what it could be. I like to get popcorn and watch them go over the countless password options. “Was it the name of your childhood dog or my childhood dog?” “What is your mom’s favorite food, again?” “Oh, maybe it was the war your grandfather fought in?”

3. Have a one-sided conversation with your dog

One fact about me that will always be true: I love my dog. He’s just a friendly little guy with a heart of gold. If he could talk, we would have the best conversations. Even though this is impossible, I still like to attempt it. I tell him all of my problems and ask him how his day is going or if he’s been stressed out with his dog responsibilities. I know him so well that sometimes I even respond to him, saying, “My day is good, Sarah! I want treats!” He’s a grade-A conversationalist in my book.

4. Tiptoeing around your house in the middle of the night and pretending you’re the Grinch

Okay, this one may be a little bit obscure, but I think it’s a great time. Sometimes when I can’t sleep, I like to tiptoe around my house slyly, pretending that I’m trying to steal Christmas. I’ll slither around on the floor, shake the presents underneath the tree and, if I’m feeling frisky, I may even take the stockings off of the wall for a few minutes. By the time I’m done with this fun activity, I’m all tired out and ready for bed! Pretending to be the Grinch may not work for everyone, but boy, does it work for me.

5. Visit your old high school (then instantly regret it)

Fun fact: I did not like high school very much. So if you’re like me and looking to revisit a bleak four years, go back to visit! The second you step through those doors, you’ll realize that you have made a huge mistake, but your old teacher has already spotted you, so it’s too late to turn back. As weird as it is to go back, it’s also a great way to burn time due to the lengthy “How are your classes?” conversations you get roped into. “They’re bad, Mrs. Smith. I barely passed my earth science final.” But since you can’t tell her that, you make up grand, elaborate lies about how much you love your classes and the vast number of friends you’ve made since leaving high school.

To all of you who have read my column this semester, thank you for being a great audience. I hope these boredom busters are helpful. I’ll see you in the spring for more groundbreaking literary triumphs (by yours truly)!

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